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So there’s this guy. He schmoozes around on the internet like snot schmoozes through the fingers of a three year old whose hands do double duty as Kleenex, billing himself as a dating expert for successful women who are lonely and convinces them to give him money in exchange for really bad dating advice. Oh, and he also writes a dating blog. Mister fella’s name is Evan Marc Katz (or EMK, as he is commonly called) and he is a douche, and I know this because I read his blog on the regular. Thanks to his completely shitty and depressing advice and the gaggle of MRA [1] goobers who insist on frequenting the comments section, the general mood of the blog is super duper gross and obnoxious and decidedly anti-female. He doesn’t like it when people call him on his bullshit so good luck trying to do that on his turf, which is why I’ve chosen to do it on my turf. So put on your tallest shit-stomping boots before we walk through this mess, because trust me, you’re gonna need em.

In this, the first in a series [2] of posts about EMK, we’re going to examine his general (unspoken, of course, because he can’t just come right out and say he hates women and believes them to be inferior) philosophy, which is that women today are failing in relationships because economic independence and changing social mores allow us, to a certain extent, to go about our lives acting like regular humans instead of accepting our natural role as submissive little dimwits whose primary purpose in life is to serve men, fuck them on demand, raise their children, and basically wipe their asses for them. Thanks to the efforts of women’s rights movements over the last several decades, we’re relatively independent and (apparently) the poor men just don’t like it when we get to do our lives on our terms, and this is why so many of us can’t seem to find ourselves a man. He tells us that this problem is ours to fix (as opposed to telling men to grow the fuck up and get over it), and that the way to fix it is to embrace our “feminine” energy (‘femininity’ being that which is comprised of certain specific human characteristics and behaviors which anyone could posses but that men have self-servingly decided are female-specific anyway). Wherever you hear talk of masculine or feminine anything, you should run like hell because, as we’ve previously discussed, this sort of nonsense never, ever bodes well for women. Things don’t happen in vacuums, kiddos. The manchine known as the patriarchy is alive and well and EMK is a greasy mutherfuckin’ cog in it.

For starters, let’s visit the part of his blog where he tries to fear monger the shit out of us into buying one of his books. Here’s some of what the overstuffed little blowhard has to say about how we’re doin’ it wrong:

First of all, it’s not your fault that you don’t understand men. There are no high school or college classes on this subject, no dating Masters degrees that you can put on your wall.

First of all this is idiotic because no woman is ever going to understand men, because men are not all the same. Just as all women aren’t the same. Because in reality, all this talk of gendered behavior is bullshit. But that doesn’t matter in EMK’s world, where hot air goes to flourish and brain cells go to die. And so here we are.

As an intelligent woman, you’ve probably even noticed patterns in your behavior. Your attraction to cute, charismatic alpha males. Your aversion to nice guys who bore you. Your desire to find a man who is taller, smarter, more generous, and more successful than you. Your refusal to settle with the wrong guy, no matter what.

Did I mention the over-abundance of hot air? It’s not necessarily that women desire taller men (and it’s certainly not an innate preference in any case), it’s that many men refuse to date women who are taller than themselves because it makes them feel “emasculated” (and I won’t even get into what a stupid fucking concept that is). Likewise, many men don’t like it when their female partners are smarter and/or more successful than they are, because men have been conditioned to believe that the male half of the species is the superior one and a lot of men don’t like having women around whose superior intellect and/or economic standing serve as constant reminders that maybe this isn’t necessarily the case. But sure, EMK. Let’s pin this one on women as some sort of character defect we posses in order to justify yelling at us for having the nerve to refuse to settle for the wrong guy. That doesn’t sound completely moronic at all!

As a mildly amusing aside, the poor little guy must’ve been really unpopular with the ladies at some point in his life because he sounds kind of bitter about women’s freedom to refuse to settle for boring old dry toast when there are so many bright and tasty pop-tarts to pick from.

His entire blog revolves around the idea that men loathe strong, opinionated women, and that, because of this, no matter how badass we might otherwise be, when it comes to men and relationships, we’d better be sweet and submissive and sit around blowing bubbles or some shit while waiting for them to take complete control:

Men win you over by giving to you. We ask you out. We call you. We pay for dates. We initiate sex. We ask for commitment. We propose marriage. We give. You receive. Reverse this order by asking him out, initiating sex, asking for commitment, or proposing marriage, and a masculine guy will feel, well, emasculated. Thus, if you want a masculine guy, your greatest move is to embrace your passive feminine side.

What EMK is advocating is male control and leadership in dating and relationships. His entire ideology, right down to the language he uses, echoes the male-headship rhetoric that has become so popular in the conservative christian community (both online and off) as a way to fight back against the dreaded progressivism (ewww, equality!!!!yuck!!!) that’s gained a lot of ground in the last dew decades.

Think about that for a minute. In advocating for the right of men to control the terms of the relationship, he is literally advocating for the right of men to exercise control over their partners. He is literally trying to scare the shit out of lonely women by telling them that if they don’t bow the fuck down to men and do relationships strictly on the man’s terms then they will spend the rest of their lives alone.

This is not okay.


[1] what the hell is an MRA? Well I’m glad you asked.

[2] given my ridiculously short attention span as it pertains to this blog, you may or may not actually ever hear anything about him from me again.

blog post edited on 4/18/15

see also: EMK: Want a man? Then slap a smile on it, cupcake!