Come here, Troll

Hey, congrats on your ability to follow directions, dumb troll! Now that we’ve established that you’re at least as smart as a can of soup, let’s see what else you can do! For starters, what say we try shutting up and paying attention for a few more seconds. Sound good? Yeah I thought so.

This is my commenting policy. You’ve caught me in a relatively decent mood, so I’m going to dumb it down so that everyone from the smartest (sup, ya’ll!) all the way down to the mindnumbingly-dumbest can understand.

As long as you have something mildly interesting or relevant to say, then say it. We’ll probably get along just fine, even if you say something kinda dumb that I disagree with.

If, however, you present as an idiot troll (who does and who doesn’t present as an idiot troll is for me to decide, obviously), then you should expect to be treated accordingly. This means your comments will either be deleted or edited [1] to my liking and then published. Trolls can be fun, but only when they are made to dance for me. And if you show your trollface here, you can bet your sweet fuckin ass that you will dance for me.

So in conclusion, as a commenter, you have three choices. You can:

– add to the conversation by not being a complete moron;

-stuff a twinkie in it and troll on about your business elsewhere;

-or make an ass of yourself in the comments section for my editing and snickering pleasure.

There. That was simple enough, yes? Yes I thought so. Hey, why are you still here? Get the hell out of my face!

[1] For my readers who aren’t stupid turdish trolls, edited parts of stupid turdish troll comments are written in ALL CAPS.